Bittersweet Glory.

The change of seasons often marks a bittersweet change in the lives of so many. We are embarking on summer. Luscious berries, bike rides just before dusk, watermelon at a lunch picnic, bare-feet in the grass, a loss of time. Summer is a much needed deep breath. A respite for the go-go-go of life. Unfortunately, it also can mean the separation of two love birds as they depart to their separate hometowns, a jobless and bewildered future, or the painful struggle that may accompany bearing one’s body in shorts and a swimsuit. It is the o-so-sweet tension of dread and anticipation.

For us, the beginning of summer epitomized this awful tension. As we walked across that stage, gladly taking that diploma we have worked so hard for these last four years (even though we won’t actually get it for another few months… I hope we actually graduate), we experienced the relief of accomplishment and thrill of commraderie with our dearest friends. Throughout our final months in undergrad, Caleb studied hard. He took the MCAT (medical school entrance exam) in early April, and had been preparing since January. Hours each day were spent memorizing, practicing, and learning. He tried new techniques to improve his scores and took numerous practice tests. The day before the big exam, he went to the site, made sure he knew how to get there and how long it would take. That night, all the guys came over and gave him some man love and prayed for him, just a few of the many who were praying for this sucker. Caleb did everything he could to prepare. And he felt a peace throughout the whole test. He walked away feeling good.

A month later, the score came. It was lower than what we had hoped for. Subsequently lower than most average scores accepted into schools. The feeling of defeat and disappointment were heavy. We weren’t going to be a shoe-in, or even competitive in most respects. The reality of our lack of control set in. This wasn’t going to be our victory. It would only be His. God’s victory was already being won.

Just like the horrible tension of the bittersweet, so is the reality of a life with Our God. God is all about His glory. That can often mean stacking all odds against us, just to make is abundantly clear that we had nothing to do with it. So while we pray, hope, and diligently work towards medical school, we trust that this process will bring God glory… whether or not it is accompanied by a medschool acceptance letter.

So for those of you who have been, are in the middle of, or will be confronted with that bittersweet reality of a life loving God, may you find rest in simply knowing that the process is for His glory. For you who just fell in love and are now going to be separated for who knows how long– all odds are stacked against you– may all the more glory be to Him when you change your world with your unwavering love. May all our frustrations, pains, disappointments, joys, and new beginnings be times that we are seen as a process that glorifies Our Father. May we embrace the change of season and all His glory within it.

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4 thoughts on “Bittersweet Glory.

  1. oh elli, how i love you!
    your heart splashed entries are stunning and raw.
    beautiful. thanks for sharing dear one.
    Bless you guys!

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